Travelling to Africa on safari is incredibly safe. The idea that the bush is full of ravenous animals, with you the centre of their world, is based on too many B-grade Hollywood movies. In reality, the animals are far more afraid of you than you are of them and will tend to go out of their way to avoid you.
That being said, it is the wild. You can’t control all the variables. The issue comes when the animals become so disinterested in your presence that they treat you as if you weren’t there.
This story begins with a young couple from Ireland, on their honeymoon. Befitting the occasion they decided to go all out to celebrate. They booked themselves a 2-week African holiday, starting off with a luxury stay in a premium 5-star lodge. This lodge is well known as a luxurious getaway, sitting in a prestigious reserve on the edge of Kruger National Park, South Africa. It has everything you need, with great dining, wonderful game viewing and luxurious modern villas to stay in, complete with grand outdoor showers.
On their third morning on safari, after a great game drive, the groom went to confirm their departure details for the following day at reception. Meanwhile, back in the room, after a quick dip in their private plunge pool, the bride decided to literally let her hair down and take a refreshing outdoor shower. Outdoor showers are pretty common in Africa, almost always as a secondary option to an adjoining indoor shower. Typically, you use the inside shower at night and the outside one during the day. Washing off in the sunlight, with the sounds of the bush around you, is one of the most enjoyable parts of the whole safari experience.
And this bride was soaking up the experience, taking a long shower as she watched some antelope meander on the river bank below. In the hot water, she could almost feel the stress of the wedding planning slowly melt away, the experience recharging her for the new life ahead. Taking full advantage of the high-end spa products in the room, she scrubbed, exfoliated and lathered. Finally, facing away from the shower and looking over the river bank, she began to wash her hair.
With her eyes closed because of the shampoo in her hair, she decided to adjust the temperature of the water. Reaching back for the tap handle, she instead felt what seemed like the shower stand itself. It was thicker than she remembered, with an odd texture. She ran her hand up it a little bit and then around the area until eventually she found a handle and adjusted the flow. She then conditioned her hair, enjoying the pleasant sensations of the water and the bush. It wasn’t until she was washing the final last bits of conditioner out that she turned around to face the shower itself. As her vision slowly returned from underneath the spray, she noticed that the shiny shower stand was quite thin.
And right next to it was something thick, with an odd texture. It was like an odd thick vine. Looking up, she realised what it was.
It was the tail of a python. Instead of grabbing the shower stand, the bride had run her soapy hands up and down the end of the snake.
In hindsight, what had happened was clear. While she looked out over the antelope, this python came from the other side of the shower to enjoy the sunlight on top of the shower. It wasn’t bothered at all by the person underneath it, as the person didn’t seem to be bothered with it. With the steam rising up and the sun shining down, it must have been a lovely spot. It was a larger snake so didn’t quite fit on top, its tail flopping down, inconveniently, between the taps of the shower.
As you’d imagine from anyone in this situation, especially hailing from a country that famously has no snakes, her reaction wasn’t a calm one. A scream echoed out across the plains, scattering the antelope on the river bank. Instead of heading back in through the bathroom door, the way she came out, she ran in the opposite direction. Completely naked, she ran off the platform, around the villa, and back in the front door. Her new husband, making his way back from the office, only saw a shrieking white blur run around the path and through his front door. He ran to see what was wrong, but she had locked him out.
It wasn’t until a few minutes, when she eventually let him in, that the story unfolded. The lodge staff were called and calmly relocated the snake away from the shower. The bride raided the mini-bar and eventually saw the funny side. The groom told everyone, with a cheeky smile, that his wife enjoyed playing with a snake on her honeymoon.
As for the snake, it wasn’t seen again in the area for a long time. Legend has it though that when it shed its skin, the tail end looked incredibly well taken care of, with no split ends.
